For All The Beans

This is it. The entire season comes down to this one game starting at 6:30. The Pats pulled it off against the Chargers. They have demolished the Colts every time they played them in the play-offs. Stephen Gostowski is ready. Asante Samuel is ready. Tom Brady is ready. Bill Belichick is chopping up his sweatshirt as we speak.

I can’t help but be nervous. I stare at my chem book and all I see is Adam Vinatieri’s face with dollar signs in his eyes. I try to concentrate and then Brady (ahhhh Brady) shows up on the page and misses an easy pass to Ben Watson. Gostowski misses a field goal, then makes a field goal.

As my mind wanders from percent abundance to game plans, I try to figure out where the Colts defense of late has come from. Do Cato June and Bob Sanders scare me? Not really. Does the way the Patriots played last week scare me? Absolutely.

Then I remind myself that studying really is the right thing to do right now, but maybe I could figure out some mathematical formula that could prove that the Colts defense has only been good these last two games because they played against sub-par offenses. The Ravens and Steve McNair? Ha! Overrated. Kansas City barely even made it into the playoffs. ****, Kansas City isn’t even in Kansas.

So then, as I switch to history, my mind automatically travels to past Patriots/Colts playoff games. There was the game when Ty Law caught more Manning passes than Marvin Harrison. That was funny. There was the 20-3 Colts smashing, then the 24-14 victory four years ago in the only other Colts/Patriots AFC championship game. Both games were at New England. However, both times that the Colts have beaten the Patriots were also at New England.

This season, the Patriots have beaten themselves more than the Colts have, taking obscene penalties and making stupid mistakes. In fact, the Patriots played that way against the Chargers last week. In my opinion, if the Patriots could beat the Chargers the way they played, they can beat anyone.

Is it unrealistic for the Patriots to win? I don’t think so. They could pull off a victory, but it will be a close one. My pessimistic side is trying to take over and force some sense into me, what with Peyton Manning’s stats and Adam Vinatieri’s golden foot. Yet I can’t help thinking how much the Colts ****** at the end of the season. I mean, they lost to the Texans, whom we beat 40-7 (whom vs. who, english usage! see, I am studying. right)

Does playoff experience help the Colts as well? Considering how bad the Colts have done in the playoffs, I don’t think so. The game against Kansas City was a given win, and the Ravens didn’t really scare me too much.

If the Patriots can get into Peyton Manning and Adam Vinatieri’s heads, the game is theirs. Remember last time when Vinatieri missed not one, but TWO field goals against the Patriots? It was wicked awesome. Hey Adam, we hate you like we hate Johnny Damon.***** sell-out.

Okay, now I’m rambling and just procrastinating doing more work. I guess I should make better use of my time, since I only have until 6:30 to study. Concentration. Okay. I’m leaving now.

By the way, Peyton Manning is a loser.

Okay, I’m really done now.

I mean it.


And I miss Trot Nixon already.

(1 month until pitchers and catchers report)



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