Dear your sir highness Theo Epstein,
The last time we corresponded, I believe I expounded the importance of a catcher to a baseball team. You took my advice last time and signed Jason Varitek, and then you continued to improve the catching situation by trading for Victor Martinez during the season. Both Varitek and Martinez will continue their tenure with the club this coming season.

Thus, please know that I do not believe you must still acquire a catcher. From my understanding, an upcoming deal between the Red Sox and Rangers is in the works. You plan to send my love, soul and cherished third baseman, Michael “Mr. Double” Lowell to Texas in exchange for some minor league catcher named Max Ramirez. Additionally, you plan to eat much of Lowell’s $12 million contract in order to do this.

I am fully aware that our good friend Mikey’s hip is not the most . . . stable joint around, but I still do not think this warrants a trade for a minor leaguer whom we will effectively be paying millions of dollars for. Perhaps you are confusing the name “Max” with the name “Manny.” This fellow from Texas is not, indeed, Manny Ramirez, and thus I don’t see why he is worth all of this money. Sure, he performed well in single-A and double-A ball, but this kid has only played in 17 major league games (where he went 8-46) and hit .243 at the triple-A level. Is he worth almost $12 million as well as a clubhouse leader? I fail to see your logic here, although I am sure, as you seem to be a prodigal general manager, that there must be some logical explanation.

 While there are whispers about Adrian Beltre, who would definitely be a more longtime improvement over Lowell at third, the focus this off-season should be on our good servant, Jason “J-BayBay” Bay. Why waste money on getting a catcher (when the team already has two) or a third baseman (when the team already has one) instead of acquiring a highly touted outfielder (which the team lacks)?

You answered my queries last time we spoke with appropriate action, and I hope you can do the same with this humble request: stop the Lowell trade, or do something that will redeem you of what looks to be a huge judgement error.

Yankees suck forever and always,
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